Life Happens

(2022-12)

One of my favorite quotes about life is actually a lyric from a John Lennon song – “Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.”  While this quote is a lyric, I recently learned that it was actually used in 1957 in an issue of Reader’s Digest by a man named Allen Saunders (see https://www.fastjetperformance.com/blog/life-is-what-happens-to-you-while-youre-busy-making-other-plans-death-on-the-roads for reference).

I recently took a roughly two-month break from my “normal” retired life (and writing my blog posts) in the second quarter of 2022.  There were two key reasons to pull me away for the past couple of months.  The first was caused by a visit from a friend I’ve known for over 45 years.  He asked me to join a 21-day whitewater rafting trip down the Colorado River in the Grand Canyon.  My buddy told me that this is a life-changing event.  He had done it twice as a participant, and was the official trip leader (per his National Park Service permit) for this private rafting trip.  After a bit of soul-searching, I checked with my family members to see what they thought.  It was unanimously agreed I should accept this invitation.  So, I decided to go for it and told my friend I was all in.

A little side note.  I hadn’t been camping in 40+ years, and had never been whitewater rafting.  I spent a couple of weeks researching, making travel reservations, planning, and packing.  All told, this trip took me away from my “normal” responsibility of childcare provider to grandchildren for over a month.  My wife had to handle all of the childcare duties as well as 100% of our household affairs during my absence.

I’m still coming to grips with the impact this trip has made on me personally (physically, mentally, and emotionally).  I can easily say that my buddy’s life-changing description was accurate.  One of the biggest changes has been my outlook on life.  I’m much more relaxed.  Instead of saying “whatever” or “no big deal,” I’ve started saying “I’m upright and on the boat.”  I can deal with most things with a much more confident mindset.  I guess that happens when you successfully survive multiple rapids!

There are a few lessons I learned on this trip.  I plan on sharing them in detail in future posts.  Some of them include:

• The impact of true friendship has no expiration date (there are indeed friends for life)
• Surround yourself with the right people
• Tremendous bonding happens when you go through traumatic experiences with others and survive
• Address little issues when you notice them or they’ll grow and fester

The second reason involved my then 91-year-old father.  Over the Memorial Day weekend, Dad had a couple of TIAs (transient ischemic attacks, also referred to as a mini-stroke) over a single weekend.  The first one occurred on a Saturday.  When a second one occurred the next day, Dad was taken to the local emergency room.  A few days later, I drove to north Texas to be with Dad, my two sisters, and a niece while we sought answers and direction.

Dad was given a battery of tests.  The results of these tests were positive.  There were no signs of brain damage, which indicated there was no stroke.  This was such a scary time for us all.  We mutually agreed that Dad no longer could live alone in a small town distant from family.  Small town health care was not ideal for improving Dad’s health.  After ten days in the hospital, Dad was transferred to a rehabilitation hospital.

The family (and Dad as well) agreed this was a time to change things.  We did a lot of investigating and found a good assisted-living facility that was much closer to family.  I will go into detail about this decision and the transition itself in a separate post.  I was surprised, pleased, and humbled by Dad’s acceptance and embrace of this big change.

I can tell you that neither of these two big events were part of my annual plan for 2022.  I know that I wouldn’t have been as well prepared for Dad’s health issues if I hadn’t rafted the Grand Canyon.  That 21-day adventure prepared me (mentally and emotionally) for dealing with Dad’s health.

When I looked up the John Lennon lyric I referred to at the start of this post, I came across the following quote from Cesare Parese – “We do not remember days, we remember moments.”  For this two-month deviation from my so-called “normal” life, there were many moments I’ll treasure forever.

How do you deal with unforeseen events in your life?  Is your plan flexible enough to adapt?  I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments.