Bittersweet Transition

(2022-14)

Dictionary.com defines the term bittersweet as “both pleasant and painful or regretful.”  I’ve gone through many transitions in my life and career, most of which match this definition.  Are all transitions bittersweet?  When you look back at a significant change in your life or career, can you see both good and bad things about it?  Earlier this summer, I worked through a transition with Dad and my family.  While the end turned out well, there were several low points along the way.

If you have read many of my posts, you will know I had a great relationship with Dad.  He went through a tough health episode in late May that started him (and the rest of his family) on a significant transition.

I have a wonderful niece (Kathryn) who for at least nine months was spending each Saturday with Dad.  She helped him with meals and organized his life for him.  Their close relationship developed even stronger bonds as a result.  One weekend in June, Dad exhibited symptoms of a stroke.  Two separate episodes prompted Kathryn to take Dad to the local ER that Sunday.

Dad was subjected to a large battery of tests.  The following Thursday I drove from New Orleans to north Texas.  The next couple of days were intense – life for Dad in the hospital was not good.  However, I did have some good visiting time with Dad, my niece, and my two sisters.

According to the attending physicians, there was no indication of long-term damage that would indicate a stroke.  Dad’s primary care physician gave us the diagnosis that Dad had suffered a couple of TIAs (Transient Ischemic Attack, also called a “mini-stroke”).

The family agreed the time had come that Dad could no longer live alone.  Dad had lived alone for the past six years after Mom died.  He had expressed to all of us his desire to stay in his house by himself, so we expected him to resist any change.  One week after the TIAs, we (my sisters, my niece, and I) started a selection process to find an assisted living place that was closer to family.  Hesitantly, we shared thoughts and suggestions with Dad.

The response was unexpected.  Instead of disagreeing or pushing back, Dad confessed his thoughts about making a significant change for some time.  Everyone was not only relieved, but we were excited for the change to occur.

Ten days after the ER visit and admission into the small-town hospital, Dad was discharged.  A rehabilitation hospital was found that was close to the selected assisted living facility, and was much closer to family.  Unfortunately, we had a two-day gap between discharge at the local hospital and admission into the rehabilitation hospital.  Despite this gap, Dad remained upbeat and positive about leaving his home of almost 30 years.  He repeatedly said it was time for a change.

Dad was ready for the change, even waking my oldest sister up VERY early in the morning of his admission to the rehabilitation hospital!  We had enough time to take Dad to see his new “apartment” at the assisted living facility.  He seemed to enjoy the visit, and made numerous positive comments.

The rehabilitation hospital was quite a step up from the small-town hospital.  Dad’s rehab regimen was intense – three hours of therapy per day!  After seven days of this, Dad was discharged to his new apartment.  Once there, Dad adapted quite well.  Quickly, he won the hearts and minds of many of the staff and other residents.  In 2-3 visits to the group bingo party, he won $225 in “bingo bucks.”

Unfortunately, Dad did not enjoy his new residence for very long.  He fell which brought more complications and ultimately, he passed away after a few weeks.

As I have stated in many of my previous posts, I learned a lot from Dad.  This transition from living alone to moving into an assisted living facility showed me that at 92 years old, he was still ready and willing to make a change.  I feel convicted by this and have committed to continually evaluate my life and embrace the need for change in order to improve.

I also learned from Dad to listen to trusted family and friends.  Sometimes, we are blinded by our own perceptions.  It is important to have accountability with others.  It’s also important to build a culture of openness, so those close to you can share their concerns.

How about you?  Do you know what blind spots you have that may inhibit you from progressing?  Do you have a circle of friends and family that will share those “hard truths” with you?  In other words, how do you ensure you are on the right path?

Let me know what you think.  If you would like to discuss, let me know and we’ll get together.  I like to add value to others.