The past few years, there’s been a lot of talk and writing (books, articles, blogs) about the topic of balancing work and life. What exactly is “work/life balance” and can you actually balance competing demands of a career with your personal life? I’d like to add my opinion to the mix, starting with a story.
Many years ago, I had the privilege of working for the highest-ranking female in Chevron. This person was one of the most driven individuals I’ve worked around. Her work ethic was intense and amazing. She reached incredibly high in Chevron, and then left to take a CEO position outside of Chevron.
I heard a story about this person after I no longer worked for her. She was at a townhall in a location that housed one of Chevron’s customer service call centers. This location employed a large number of females. Many of them were working mothers (as well as working single mothers). During this townhall, one of the working mothers asked this executive how you balance work and home life. The response was along the lines of “You don’t. You make choices. I made my choices and you’ll have to make your own.” The response was not inspiring, and was tough for some to take.
If I answered that question, I would have answered it much differently. Of course, as a male, I don’t have the perspective of a working mother. (Side note – in my humble opinion, working mother is the most impressive role on the planet. I couldn’t handle the pressures working mothers are under, and am continually super impressed with them!)
I believe you can balance a career with your family life. I think my opinion stems from one of my core beliefs – that I work to provide for my family, not simply to achieve a certain position or level. So, the start to balance resides in your core belief. Why do you work? Is it to achieve at all costs, or is it to provide for a certain lifestyle? Are you comfortable with that choice? I was quite comfortable with that choice. Now that I’m retired, I’m thankful that my core belief was centered around the concept of family-first. My retirement time is filled with family time. I have satisfaction when I look back at my career. Do I have regrets? Of course, but I set them aside whenever they come up. (Okay, I admit that sometimes, the amount of time that I wallow in my regret is much longer than I should. I eventually come to peace with the situation.)
In all situations, when you have competing forces (like “work” and “life”), priorities matter. As a leader, I believe that transparency is important. I’ve told all my various teams that I come to work to fund my life. Work is not my life – my family and faith are.
Since my role at work was to fund my life, I had a simple way to address this. As mentioned, I was very open about my priorities with my employees. If I got a call from my wife or one of my daughters, I’d try to stop whatever I was doing and take the call. I had an agreement with my wife and daughters. If I was in a meeting or couldn’t take their call, it would go to voicemail. If the issue wasn’t critical, they were to leave a voicemail and I’d call when I could. If the issue was critical, I told them to call the second time. If I got a second call, I’d take the call. My employees knew of this call and honored it.
Later in my career, if I was traveling internationally, my wife and daughters knew the time difference before I left. I always called home daily, to check in. As my daughters grew older, I also told them a little about what I was doing. I remember one time I was in intense negotiations at an international location when one of my daughters called me on my cell phone. I knew something was up because it was too early back home. I excused myself from the negotiation session and took the call. It was the right thing to do – a beloved pet had passed away and my daughter was letting me know. I was glad I took the call and was able to sympathize and empathize with my daughter.
Let me know what you think. Do you struggle with balancing your work and personal life? How have you coped?