(2022-12)

One of my favorite quotes about life is actually a lyric from a John Lennon song – “Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.”  While this quote is a lyric, I recently learned that it was actually used in 1957 in an issue of Reader’s Digest by a man named Allen Saunders (see https://www.fastjetperformance.com/blog/life-is-what-happens-to-you-while-youre-busy-making-other-plans-death-on-the-roads for reference).

I recently took a roughly two-month break from my “normal” retired life (and writing my blog posts) in the second quarter of 2022.  There were two key reasons to pull me away for the past couple of months.  The first was caused by a visit from a friend I’ve known for over 45 years.  He asked me to join a 21-day whitewater rafting trip down the Colorado River in the Grand Canyon.  My buddy told me that this is a life-changing event.  He had done it twice as a participant, and was the official trip leader (per his National Park Service permit) for this private rafting trip.  After a bit of soul-searching, I checked with my family members to see what they thought.  It was unanimously agreed I should accept this invitation.  So, I decided to go for it and told my friend I was all in.

A little side note.  I hadn’t been camping in 40+ years, and had never been whitewater rafting.  I spent a couple of weeks researching, making travel reservations, planning, and packing.  All told, this trip took me away from my “normal” responsibility of childcare provider to grandchildren for over a month.  My wife had to handle all of the childcare duties as well as 100% of our household affairs during my absence.

I’m still coming to grips with the impact this trip has made on me personally (physically, mentally, and emotionally).  I can easily say that my buddy’s life-changing description was accurate.  One of the biggest changes has been my outlook on life.  I’m much more relaxed.  Instead of saying “whatever” or “no big deal,” I’ve started saying “I’m upright and on the boat.”  I can deal with most things with a much more confident mindset.  I guess that happens when you successfully survive multiple rapids!

There are a few lessons I learned on this trip.  I plan on sharing them in detail in future posts.  Some of them include:

• The impact of true friendship has no expiration date (there are indeed friends for life)
• Surround yourself with the right people
• Tremendous bonding happens when you go through traumatic experiences with others and survive
• Address little issues when you notice them or they’ll grow and fester

The second reason involved my then 91-year-old father.  Over the Memorial Day weekend, Dad had a couple of TIAs (transient ischemic attacks, also referred to as a mini-stroke) over a single weekend.  The first one occurred on a Saturday.  When a second one occurred the next day, Dad was taken to the local emergency room.  A few days later, I drove to north Texas to be with Dad, my two sisters, and a niece while we sought answers and direction.

Dad was given a battery of tests.  The results of these tests were positive.  There were no signs of brain damage, which indicated there was no stroke.  This was such a scary time for us all.  We mutually agreed that Dad no longer could live alone in a small town distant from family.  Small town health care was not ideal for improving Dad’s health.  After ten days in the hospital, Dad was transferred to a rehabilitation hospital.

The family (and Dad as well) agreed this was a time to change things.  We did a lot of investigating and found a good assisted-living facility that was much closer to family.  I will go into detail about this decision and the transition itself in a separate post.  I was surprised, pleased, and humbled by Dad’s acceptance and embrace of this big change.

I can tell you that neither of these two big events were part of my annual plan for 2022.  I know that I wouldn’t have been as well prepared for Dad’s health issues if I hadn’t rafted the Grand Canyon.  That 21-day adventure prepared me (mentally and emotionally) for dealing with Dad’s health.

When I looked up the John Lennon lyric I referred to at the start of this post, I came across the following quote from Cesare Parese – “We do not remember days, we remember moments.”  For this two-month deviation from my so-called “normal” life, there were many moments I’ll treasure forever.

How do you deal with unforeseen events in your life?  Is your plan flexible enough to adapt?  I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments.

If you had a magic wand, would you choose revenge or forgiveness?  I must admit, I’m very tempted by revenge.  I have enjoyed Denzel Washington’s The Equalizer movies.  There’s also the classic revenge movie – Death Wish.  I remember watching this many years ago.  There’s a certain level of satisfaction when “justice is served” to people who deserve it.

There are a few issues with revenge.  First and foremost, it usually flies in the face of legality and morality.  Also, who determines what is just?  Is justice the same for me as it is for you?  Is there a case for choosing forgiveness from the start?

I admit that I fall for desiring revenge often.  I usually don’t act on this desire, primarily because of my Christian value system.  I was taught that forgiveness should be our primary response to being wronged.  I struggle with that some times.

I recently listened to a great audiobook entitled “The Dead Drink First.”  This book was primarily about the search for the remains of a soldier who died on the island of Okinawa in World War Two.  The story is also about traumatic brain injury, and how it impacts people’s personality.  The father of the author was on Okinawa and sustained a significant brain injury.  This changed his personality, making him abusive and subject to raging anger.  This altered personality had a profound impact on his two sons.  One of them (the author’s younger brother, who bore the brunt of the father’s abuse) was interviewed at the conclusion of the story.  While both sons never had the chance to reconcile with their father before he died, the younger one told how he forgave his father anyway.  He said he had to forgive his father in order to work on his own issues.  This struck me, and I decided to research the power of forgiveness.

I found many articles that supported the Biblical view on forgiveness, which didn’t surprise me.  The Bible is full of many teachings and examples of forgiveness.  I wanted to see if there were other, secular sources that validated why forgiveness should be our default instead of revenge.

I found four interesting articles from various sources.  These sources included Psychreg (published by Psychreg Ltd, a media company based in London, United Kingdom), Harvard Health Publishing, Huffpost, and John Hopkins Medicine.  None of these four sources would be deemed “Biblical” in their approach, so I took a deeper look.

In Psychreg’s post “The Power of Forgiveness” (https://www.psychreg.org/power-of-forgiveness ), the author shared three reasons why forgiveness is hard to do:

1. There is too much anger involved
2. Believing that the person who wronged you deserves punishment
3. Fear of getting hurt again

While forgiveness is hard and painful, this article shared the results of studies that say that forgiveness is powerful, and has both health benefits as well as social and emotional benefits.

Harvard Health Publishing’s “The Power of Forgiveness” (https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/the-power-of-forgiveness) talked about the long-term effects of forgiveness.  “Forgiving a person who has wronged you is never easy, but dwelling on those events and reliving them over and over can fill your mind with negative thoughts and suppressed anger,” says Dr. Tyler VanderWeele, co-director of the Initiative on Health, Religion, and Spirituality at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health. “Yet, when you learn to forgive, you are no longer trapped by the past actions of others and can finally feel free.”

They also stated that there are two types of forgiveness: decisional and emotional and gave a formula for approaching and executing forgiveness.  “Forgiveness is not erasure,” says Dr. VanderWeele. “Rather, it’s about changing your reaction to those memories.”

Huffpost’s “The Power of Forgiveness” (a blog by Dr. Randy Kamen, which can be found at https://www.huffpost.com/entry/forgiveness_b_2006882) details powerful health benefits of forgiveness.  There were two quotes from this article that resonated with me:

• “Forgiveness is something different, which is to say, I am not going to have these negative emotions consume me. That’s how I view it. And so forgiveness isn’t so much about the other person as your own process of saying, I’m moving forward.”
• “Forgiveness training is a combination of cognitive behavioral therapy and relaxation techniques, but the goal is the same: Identify the problem, give it time and get objective input.”

As I completed my quick review of the power of forgiveness, I came to realize that there are numerous secular and Biblical reasons to forgive.  In addition to the moral reasons, there are documented health benefits to forgiveness.  The result of forgiveness is a liberation from the wrongs and grudges so easily held onto.

I’ve experienced this liberation numerous times.  By letting go of the wrongs done to me (even if they are only my perceptions), I’ve freed myself from an amazing flood of negative emotions.  After reviewing the scientific research available, I appreciate the validation of others that forgiveness is the better approach, and has positive benefits to the forgiver.

I find that sometimes the toughest person to forgive is myself.  As a leader, I always am harder on myself than I am on others.  I now realize that the first person I need to forgive is usually myself!  I find it hard to forgive others if I’m not letting go of the mistakes I’ve made.

I’d love to add value to you by sharing my journey of forgiveness, and how I’ve liberated myself and coached others to achieve greater things.  Are you holding a grudge against someone that you just can’t seem to let go?  I challenge you to read the four articles I’ve mentioned in this post.  Perhaps they can help you as they’ve helped me.

Have you experienced the liberating power of forgiveness?  How did you progress from that point?  Let me know in your comments and replies to this article.  Contact me at mike@mrhensonllc.com if you’d like to discuss in private.

When you hear vision statements, what comes to mind?  Can you remember your favorite vision statement?  Can you describe your least favorite vision statement?  Or, do you really just think a vision statement is hokey – some form of “Dilbert-speak” or something a management consultant would put together and charge you a lot of money for?

I used to think vision statements were worthless (at best).  Then, I got in a job facilitating a form of Hoshin planning.  This was a particularly popular strategic planning process in the mid to late 1990s.  The form we used at work started with identifying a team’s vision statement – where they wanted to be in 10+ years.

In this job, I facilitated sessions around the U.S.  I was also asked to facilitate seven teams’ sessions in Singapore.  I really enjoyed all these sessions.  They helped me to learn so much about the business areas our teams were involved in.

Getting prepared to facilitate so many sessions prompted me to do a lot of reading on vision, mission, and strategy.  One of my colleagues recommended a book entitled “Be an Orange” by Larry Taylor.  I found this book rather valuable in helping teams craft solid vision and mission statements.  I still believe in the power of a strong vision, largely due to this book’s influence.

In his book, Larry Taylor says “a vision should be symbolic, worth the sacrifice and strategic.  The vision statement should be no more than three to five words.”  He shares a few examples of visions statements that follow his guidelines.  Taylor’s consulting firm’s vision statement is “Be an Orange.”  They wanted to avoid apples-to-apples comparison.  This vision aided them to stand out.  Federal Express’ (now FedEx) vision statement was simply “Get it there.”  In hindsight, that one definitely worked!

I used this book a lot in coaching and leading teams.  Sometimes it was to facilitate a group vision from the team.  Other times, it was to cast my vision for the team.  When I took over leadership of a new team, I usually gave myself 90 days to develop and cast the vision.  That would give me the time necessary to get the lay of the land and understand the challenges the team faced.

One particular time, I had to come up with a vision based on first impressions.  I assumed a disparate team of facilities that were intensively competitive.  During our first in-person meeting, the temporary leader asked me what my vision for the team was on the second day of our meeting.  I believe I had been in the job for two or three weeks.  I drew on my logistics and network planning experience and education and came up with “One network, nine nodes.”  While the team was competitive, they were competing against each other, and had little view of our external industry position.  I gave them my first impression and challenged them to rally together to beat our true competition.  I believe it stunned some, because they were silent for quite a while.

They eventually rallied behind this vision, and did it just in time.  Within three months, we were faced with three unprecedented supply chain disruptions.  The team had to work together to pool resources when Hurricane Rita knocked out our largest facility.  I saw this disparate team rally together to help the group mitigate the impact of these disruptions.  We met these three challenges in ways that had never been done before in this group.

I have come to agree with Larry Taylor’s three characteristics for a vision statement:

• It should be symbolic.  Showing a group of supply chain professionals that they were all part of one network was the right approach.  It spoke to them, and gave a rallying cry to the team.
• It should be worth the sacrifice.  Each person had to give up their rivalry with each other.  As a result, they learned a better form of trial – besting our industry competitors.  They could easily see that the sacrifice yielded positive results for the company.
• It should be strategic.  I can’t imagine the level of failure we would have had in facing the three major supply chain disruptions as a group of nine disparate facilities.  When the largest went down, it would have affected all of us.  This was the right thing to do.

I also agree with short vision statements.  They are easy to remember, and you don’t need to print up a bunch of vision cards for everyone.  They’re also good discussion starters, because people will ask what those few words mean.  This gives a great opportunity to showcase the team’s purpose and direction.

What are your favorite vision statements?  Have you heard any that made you laugh?  For the vision statement you liked the best, what made it so good in your opinion?

Have you worked with a team that doesn’t have a vision?  Do you lead a team without a vision?  I believe it’s one of the leader’s highest priorities to determine and cast the vision.  What leader has done that particularly well in your experience?

I’d love to have your comments and hear your answers to some of these questions.  If you are a leader who needs to develop a vision statement, let me know.  I can help, and would love to add value.

Albert Einstein once said, “If you feed your mind as often as you feed your stomach, then you’ll never have to worry about feeding your stomach or a roof over your head or clothes on your back.”  I read this recently and it prompted me to consider its implications for success.  Does my daily mental input affect my productivity, performance, and success?

I found a couple of other quotes that intrigued me:

• “Life consists of what a man is thinking about all day.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
• “You are today where your thoughts have brought you. You will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.” James Allen

I generally try to have a positive attitude.  I believe that has helped me in my life and career.  I have been blessed with exposure to some tremendous people in my life.  When I was in high school, I read “The Power of Positive Thinking” by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale.  I even took my high school girlfriend (who became my wife) to see and hear Dr. Peale in person.  I read all his books.  I also had the opportunity to meet Zig Ziglar in person.  I worked for a company that published two of his books.  These two authors had a profound influence on me and my philosophy toward success.

I decided to do a little research and see if there is an impact on what we listen to or feed on mentally.  It appears that it’s not just some personal development hype.  There are profound positive consequences, even physically. 

There were quite a few research articles published on the web about the benefits of positive thinking on personal health.  The Mayo Clinic published an article on positive and negative thinking (https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950) and stated “Positive thinking helps with stress management and can even improve your health.  Practice overcoming negative self-talk with examples provided.”  I recommend reviewing this article.  It lists ten health benefits of positive thinking, identifies negative thinking, and has suggestions for putting positive thinking into practice.

Johns Hopkins Medical School released the results of positive and negative thinking and outlooks on heart disease.  The report stated “People with a family history of heart disease who also had a positive outlook were one-third less likely to have a heart attack or other cardiovascular event within five to 25 years than those with a more negative outlook.”

I even noticed that a diet book my wife and I just read (Dr. Kellyann’s Bone Broth Diet) even had an entire chapter devoted to helping you develop a positive mind set to lose and keep pounds off!

One of the best summaries of the impact of feeding your mind is this quote from Jac Vanec – “You are the books you read, the films you watch, the music you listen to, the people you spend time with, the conversations you engage in. Choose wisely what you feed your mind.”

I have dealt a lot with negative self-talk.  I know from personal experience that it can immobilize you and put you in a very dark place.  I found out early (in high school primarily) that reading or listening to positive people like Norman Vincent Peale, Zig Ziglar, and John Maxwell leaves me in a much better place.  I find myself inspired, motivated, and excited as a result.

The leader sets the tone for his/her organization.  It is my opinion that the leader needs to set the tone with themself first.  How does the leader do this?  I am still learning, but I can share four areas I’m applying in my life:

1. Recognize that the struggle is real and constant.  Be aware there are both positive and negative influences in and around you every day.  Prepare yourself for the struggle.
2. Build routines in your daily life that will add or preserve positive inputs and influences in your life.  For me, I do the following:
   • Quiet Time:  I start my day with prayer, Bible reading, and journaling.  This works for me.
   • Daily Dozen:  I have a list of twelve quotes and thoughts I try to read daily to start my day.  These quotes are from wide and varying sources.  Start gathering your Daily Dozen.  Just the act of searching for twelve positive or uplifting quotes or thoughts will add positive influence in your life.
   • Affirmations:  I also have a list of affirmations that I read.  I started to read these daily, and admit I’ve struggled with this recently.  I’m trying to re-energize this.
   • Reading:  I watch what I read.  I don’t look at the news in the morning until I’ve done my quiet time.  I also read a lot of books.  I ensure I have a few personal development, motivational, or self-help books in the mix
3. Check your attitude.  I have to remember to do this daily, sometimes multiple times in a single day.  I remember one course I took that taught that you can’t always control what happens to you, but you can control how you respond to it.  The course even called that response-ability.
4. Build in accountability.  In psychology, you’ll learn that peer reinforcement is one of the strongest influences.  I have an accountability partner that I connect with weekly.  We also are available for each other if something comes up in between our calls.  I also share my struggles and goals with my wife.  She knows what I’m trying to work on and will remind me when I stray off the path.

Do you believe what you feed your mind impacts your chances of success, your outlook on life, and your health?  I do.  Do you have daily routines that help (or hurt)?  How do you ensure you have positive inputs and influences in your life?

I’d love to hear your comments and thoughts.  Let me know what you think.

When someone mentions teambuilding, do you cringe?  If your boss told you the team was going to complete a teambuilding exercise, would you think you were filming an episode of The Office?

Teambuilding has proponents and opponents.  I’ve taken part in many exercises, and at one point in my career, I was the facilitator who subjected teams to this form of torture. 

I actually don’t believe it is a form of torture, but I’ve also seen a lot of money wasted on fruitless teambuilding activities.  There have been times in my career when I thought it was a form of torture, but there have been significant emotional and bonding experiences that have come from them.

In my recent research on teambuilding, I haven’t found anything that goes against my basic belief.  This belief is that teambuilding can be very effective, but if it’s not done with intent, it can actually be destructive to the team.

I’ve taken part in many different forms of teambuilding.  Two of the more notable ones included a three-day visit to a dude ranch in the Rockies in Colorado and an extensive ropes course in the desert of Arizona.  These two were rather memorable to me because they were a disaster.

The dude ranch event turned into a three-day boss-bashing event.  Fortunately, I was not the boss (just another one of the bashers).  A lot of feedback was given and improvements suggested.  Unfortunately, nothing changed afterwards.  The boss was traumatized by the event.  Then, when he returned home, he found that his wife had left him, taken half the furniture, and filed for divorce.  He didn’t change his ways and none of the improvements were implemented.

The ropes course did nothing but advertise to a broad group of my peers that I have an intense fear of heights.  This session was also not impactful because the group of people rarely interacted with each other.  It’s hard to build a team where there isn’t one.

I’ve facilitated and participated in many teambuilding activities that proved to be very successful.  I like focused teambuilding.  As a leader of a team, I firmly believe in understanding each team member’s motivations (see my Personal Leadership Model post here https://mrhensonllc.com/my-personal-leadership-model/). 

For every team I’ve led, I’ve tried to integrate teambuilding into our routine activities.  I’ve found that when team members know more about each other, they understand more about the things that drive an individual to work.

During one of my roles at Chevron, I managed teams in ten different locations in Canada, the USA, and Mexico.  I recall having 12-15 direct reports.  We met periodically.  Our mission was to supply products in the global marketplace.  These products were manufactured in nine different plants.  When I took over this role, these nine different plants viewed each other as their primary competition.  I spent significant time changing this mindset.  I wanted them to beat our true competition, not each other.  As part of this, I needed to build a cohesive team with a single vision.  (I plan on writing a separate post on the power of a simple, compelling vision.  Stay tuned!)

At every in-person team meeting, we devoted some time to a teambuilding activity.  The team member who was hosting the meeting got to pick and schedule the activity.  We had a diverse set of activities, and really got to know each other well.

Early in 2006, I called a meeting in New Orleans and held the meeting at one of a key suppliers’ facility.  This plant, along with the surrounding community, had been hard hit by Hurricane Katrina in August of 2005.  Our team meeting was held six months after Katrina.  Since I called the meeting, I decided and scheduled the activity.  I contacted friends at Chevron’s upstream Public Affairs team and asked if there were any community service efforts still underway.  They recommended a local group that was repairing musician’s homes so they could return to New Orleans.  I was told after six months it would probably be “light clean-up.”  I set the date and committed my team.

When we met the local coordinator at the musician’s residence south of Chalmette (a suburb of New Orleans), we found out we would help a local musician return to his home.  Turns out, he hadn’t opened the door since Katrina.  The house had been in the area with a lot of flooding.  The water filled the entire one-story residence.  The musician was rescued from his roof.

Instead of “light clean-up,” my team spent almost five hours gutting the home down to the studs.  My team was fierce and efficient.  At the end of the day, we were all whipped (and smelled very bad).  I was proud of the team.  One of my team had purchased printed t-shirts for us.  Unfortunately, I believe most of us trashed them after, as we didn’t think they could be cleaned!

Ten years later, I ran into my key supplier contact in Singapore (who I had invited along with us).  He shared with me and other colleagues that this event was the single best teambuilding he had ever participated in.  I was humbled.

What did I learn from this experience?  There were three key things:

• Vet the activity properly.  I trusted my Public Affairs colleagues and didn’t fully vet the host organization.  I should have used Ronald Reagan’s “trust but verify” creed.  I would have fully prepared myself and my team better.
• Teambuilding that gives to others brings a different perspective to your team.  We had a very productive meeting afterwards.  The team was easily able to rally around each other in order to achieve our common goals.
• Teambuilding is an investment, not an expense.  I still have good relations with many members of that team.  I was humbled by the remark from the key supplier ten years later.  The cost was minimal (t-shirts, transportation, and clothes).  I told the team that if they wanted to dispose of the clothes they wore that day, I would reimburse them.  The cost was minimal, compared to the improvement in our team’s cooperation and support.

Have you had good experiences with teambuilding?  What activity is most memorable to you and why?  Please share your thoughts and comments.

Do you hate distractions?  When you are “locked on” to a goal, task, or vision, how do you deal with distractions?  I have historically not dealt well with them.  I believe all Type A personalities or leaders try to stay on task or target and don’t deal well with distractions.  Two weeks ago, my mindset was changed.  I can clearly see the value in a diversion, provided you keep the end in mind.

My wife and I recently returned to New Orleans from Tennessee.  It’s a long drive – over nine hours.  We usually like to drive straight through, with as few stops as possible.  This past week, we took a diversion.  On the way to Tennessee the previous week, my wife saw a sign for the Little River Canyon National Preserve.  We had previously discussed a leisurely return trip taking two days and seeing the sights along the way.  We added this place to the list of sights to see on the way back.

We got to Tennessee and were deeply involved in a number of activities and tasks.  We ran out of time and decided to drive back in one day.  We passed a couple of places in Tennessee and north Georgia and decided to skip them, as they were too far off I-59.  The Little River Canyon Center is about 20 minutes off the interstate, so when we got close to the Fort Payne, Alabama exit, we decided to make a diversion.  Being that close to the Interstate, we wouldn’t lose much time if it wasn’t worth it.  (For more information about the preserve, take a look at https://www.nps.gov/liri/index.htm)

We took the exit, and went to visit the Little River Canyon Center.  We were impressed with the visitor center, and agreed to take a scenic drive along the Little River.  We started at an overlook and made an agreement if it wasn’t worth it, we’d turn around and head to New Orleans.

We got to the first stop and were awe-struck by the majesty of the scenery.  We decided to take the scenic drive for half of it, and were very glad we did.  The pictures attached to this post don’t do the scenery justice.  If you ever find yourself driving on I-59 in northeast Alabama, you should allow some time to slow down and enjoy this preserve.

I thought about this diversion when we got back to New Orleans, and could easily see the application to leadership.  As a leader, odds are good that you have a solid vision and destination in mind for your organization.  If you are like me, you want to stay on task.  Life doesn’t happen that way.  Sometimes, even the leader needs a diversion.

The scenery of the Little River Canyon rejuvenated me on the long journey from Tennessee.  We didn’t lose that much time, and enjoyed the deviation tremendously.  Not only do leaders need a detour periodically, but they should embrace it.  We stayed on task and ultimately met our goal of returning to New Orleans safely.  This time, we did it in a relaxed manner.  There’s nothing like a waterfall or beautiful, clear river flowing to calm nerves and give such positive feelings.  Instead of feeling pressured by the deviation, I was relaxed and enjoyed the ride.

How do you deal with distractions in your personal or vocational life?  Do they stress you out?  I know in the past, there were times in my leadership journey that I got very stressed when someone, something, or some event took me off task.

In the past, one way I’ve dealt with departures from my goal or task was to avoid them.  I could generally sense them coming, and would take great measures to side-step them and stay focused on my goal, task, or vision.  Sometimes I still do this.

I learned last week to truly welcome diversions.  They can have a calming, peaceful, energizing effect.  I was centered, happy, and devoted to the ultimate vision of a safe journey.  Sometimes, distractions can have the same effect on the leader.  As long as the leader keeps the end in mind, welcoming the diversion can have its rewards.

As you proceed along your own leadership journey, I challenge you to re-think your reactions to diversions.  Don’t give up on your vision or ultimate destination, but react with the knowledge that this particular deviation may end up having a very positive impact on your leadership.

There’s a phrase I heard from former service members who served in Iraq or Afghanistan.  The phrase is “embrace the suck.”  While that may not be very glamorous, it could be a good start to reacting differently to departures from the path you’ve set for yourself.  The other well-worn phrase is that every cloud has a silver lining.  Keep the end in mind, but embrace the potential learning and rejuvenating impact of diversions along the way.

Have you experienced the surprise benefit of diversions?  I’d love to hear your comments. If you are looking for someone to coach you on your leadership journey, email me at mike@mrhensonllc.com.

I don’t know about you, but I’m starting to worry about the world.  Is it just me, or has the world become rather dichotomous?  (Dictionary.com defines dichotomous as “divided or dividing into two parts.”)  It seems to me that the level of divisiveness in the world is worse than it ever has been.  Do you agree?

As I look back over the past 5-10 years, I see this phenomenon ramping up around three topics: race, politics, and health.

I can still remember the divisiveness that was in the US in the 1960s.  Race and politics were hot topics then, and the nation was split severely.  I don’t recall these two issues expanding globally like I see them now.

The topic of race heated up significantly in 2014 around the events in Ferguson, Missouri.  I won’t go into the events, but I was stunned and humbled by the vitriolic dialog spreading around.  I was humbled by some sane voices arising from that event.  My favorite, calm voice during this time was Benjamin Watson, a player for the New Orleans Saints.  His expression started as a Facebook post.  He had enough to say that he wrote a book about it entitled, “Under Our Skin.”  I highly recommend this book.  It was impactful enough to me that I’ll probably write a separate post about it.  The subtitle to the book says it best: “Getting real about race – and getting free from the fears and frustrations that divide us.”

The race-related incidents haven’t calmed down much since the Ferguson event.  I would argue that they’ve gotten worse.  There have been incidents and resulting protests (and sometimes riots) recently.  The topic of race divides us.

Politics really took a dichotomous turn leading up to the 2016 U.S. Presidential election, and don’t seem to be improving yet.  The only good thing I got out of the dialog leading up to that election was that I fully understand my position on the political spectrum.  I am neither Republican nor Democrat.  I classify myself as a constitutional conservative.  I have done a lot of research on the history of the formation of the United States and really embrace our founding principles.  I also see where this issue isn’t dichotomous for me, it truly is a spectrum.  I also see that respect for others’ beliefs is a fundamental aspect of the formation of the United States, and made the basis of the First Amendment.

The latest divisive issue I label as health.  The COVID-19 pandemic truly divided us on a global basis.  Whether it be social distancing, masks, vaccination status, lockdowns, or science, you’ll find a sharp spirit of us versus them.

What is the impact of this divisiveness, and how does a leader address the issues in a way that draws the team together rather than apart?

I have witnessed significant impacts of this divisiveness:

• Lines are drawn and adhered to.  People don’t view things as a spectrum but view everything as dichotomous.
• People become entrenched in their viewpoint.  Critical thinking and respect seem to have disappeared.
• Relationships have been strained, and in some cases ended.  I’ve seen and heard of friendships that have been destroyed or families split.  In my opinion, this is not only sad but unnecessary.
• Jobs have disappeared.  Many people have lost their livelihoods because employers don’t respect employees’ beliefs, or they crater to pressure from others.

I encourage you to read the transcript of Brian Williams’ final broadcast from MSNBC.  I have mixed feelings about Brian Williams.  At times I’ve agreed with him, and other times have not.  I believe he hit the nail on the head in his signoff about the environment of toxicity he sees happening in our country.  You can find the video and the transcript of this at https://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/brianwilliamsmsnbcnewssignoff.htm

I have crystalized my personal beliefs because of seeing this pervasive divisiveness.  First and foremost, I believe there are very few things that are truly dichotomous.  To put it differently, there is very little black or white and a lot of gray positions in this world.  As a leader, I need to recognize this and ensure I keep an open mind and heart.

Secondly, I believe the leader should exhibit mutual respect for their followers and stakeholders (everyone, actually).  One aspect that is vital for the leader to nurture is the diversity of thought.  I need different perspectives and viewpoints to ensure that I stay on the right path.

Mutual respect allows people to agree to disagree and still achieve their mission.  As a slight deviation, one of my favorite slogans is from Combat Flipflops.  Their tagline is “be a better human.”  I love this.  You may not agree with someone, but you shouldn’t belittle or disrespect them in your response.

I recognize this post may trigger some strong feedback.  I’m okay with that.  It helps me make sure I keep an open mind and heart.  I’d love for you to share your thoughts, but I ask you to first count to five.  Let’s start unifying our own circles of influence.

What does it mean to persist?  Is persistence a good quality to have as a leader?  Is there a “dark side” to persistence that a leader needs to avoid?

Dictionary.com defines the verb persist as “to continue steadfastly or firmly in some state, purpose, course of action, or the like, especially in spite of opposition, remonstrance, etc.”

I’ve been thinking about the trait of persistence the last few months.  Since my retirement, I’ve reflected a lot on my challenges, successes, mistakes, missteps, and decisions.  From what I’ve read, that is common among retirees.  Even Bruce Springsteen sang about reflection in “Glory Days” (although that wasn’t necessarily positive reflection).

I’ve received feedback from many people that I am persistent.  Most of this feedback is positive.  Some of it reflects “areas of improvement” for me.  I’ve also been given the feedback that persistence is both one of my strongest strengths and one of my biggest faults.  Upon reflection, I agree with that assessment.

Persistence is a topic that has been considered by many to be important.  While researching the topic, I stumbled upon some excellent quotes about persistence:

• “Persistence is self-discipline in action.”  Brian Tracy
• “Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”  Calvin Coolidge
• “Patience, persistence, and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success.”  Napoleon Hill
• “Paralyze resistance with persistence.”  Woody Hayes
• “In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins; not through strength, but through persistence.”  Buddha
• “Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.”  Steve Martin

I’ve applied persistence several times in my life and career and received positive outcomes.  The absolute best example of this is my pursuit of my wife, Julie.  We met in high school (junior year).  I was smitten by her and asked her out many times.  She really didn’t want to date me and turned me down numerous times.  I wore her down with persistence!  Last December we celebrated our 43^rd anniversary, so it looks like it’s going to last.  ?

My entire career at Chevron was an example of my persistence.  I started after dropping out of college.  I finished my undergraduate degree in Marketing while working and raising a family.  I continually sought better-paying, challenging jobs that would help me provide better for my wife and daughters.  This was often tough.  It started off hard due to a lack of a degree.  It stayed challenging because I wasn’t an engineer.  When I look back on it, I see many times I persisted.

Another example of persisting was conquering my fear of public speaking.  Those who know me now may be surprised, but I used to freeze up and actively avoid speaking in front of others.  I signed up for a public speaking course that Chevron offered and followed up with being a guest speaker at a management program called SSKP (Supervisory Skills and Knowledge Program).  To be an SSKP guest speaker, you had to commit to four sessions of a particular topic.  One session was to audit a guest speaker, then you were the guest speaker for three subsequent sessions.  I thought three sessions would help me.  It worked because I was asked to do over 40 sessions on many different topics.

I also positively applied my persistence to my commercial career.  This started as a crude oil trader.  A person can’t be a successful trader without persistence.  There were many times I made a bad call or got on the wrong side of the market.  I had to stick with it.  As they say in the movies, failure was not an option.  This later helped me negotiate larger deals in my business development roles.

I can also remember a couple of times when my persistence didn’t achieve the right results.  One job I applied for in Chevron involved a move from California back to New Orleans.  My family had been in California for four years and were really enjoying it.  My wife and I discussed the potential and agreed that I should apply for the job and take it if four conditions were met.  The conditions included a raise, a promotion, and two other conditions we can’t remember (this was over 20 years ago).  I interviewed and was selected for the position, and I accepted the offer.  A big problem was that none of the four conditions were met.  I accepted the position because I thought it would be a good thing for my wife and daughters to be close to my wife’s family.  Big mistake.  My family went from thriving to floundering.

The other time when my persistence didn’t achieve the right result was when I was trying to improve my group’s performance.  I used the data my team knew about to monitor expenses (based on direct expense accounting information).  I managed my team’s efforts to control expenses using this data.  I also used this data to keep my supervisor informed of progress.  I didn’t know that there was a separate management information system that included the basic accounting information and other allocated expense and revenue.  I was diligently managing using the wrong information!  It was like I was trying to drive a car only looking at the engine temperature.  That didn’t end well!

Based on my experience and research, I’ve come to believe that persistence can be very beneficial to a leader.  Persistence can keep a leader on task despite adversity or resistance.  I also believe there is a “dark side” to persistence – not letting go when you should.  It’s a balancing act to know how far to push.  You also need feedback to ensure you’re on the right track.

Have you applied persistence and experienced positive returns?  Do you believe it is a positive trait or skill for a leader?  Have you ever seen it misused or abused?  I’d love to hear your thoughts or comments.

In the spirit of full disclosure, the answer to the question posed in the title came from a child I know.  That was their spirited reaction to any direction they didn’t agree with.  To the Type-A leader, or Alpha-Leader, there is a similar reaction.  Leaders want to lead.  Many leaders have very large egos.  Some would say they must so they can lead organizations through turbulent times.  A question popped into my mind a couple of weeks ago – do good leaders also need to be good followers?

I’ve long thought about this question and have come to the position that I believe good leaders can be some of the best followers.  I wondered if I was alone in thinking this.  Late last year (2021), I stumbled across something in my daily Bible reading that got me thinking.  I was using “Every Man’s Bible, New International Version.”  This version is rather good.  One thing I like is that it includes commentary from the editors in ways different than other Bibles I’ve read.  I liked reading the periodic one-pagers entitled “Someone You Should Know” which highlights a person in the Bible.  In 3 John, the editors highlighted Diotrephes and focused on a single verse: “I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first, will not welcome us” (3 John 1:9). Their point of highlighting Diotrephes was “good leaders honor others; bad leaders praise only themselves.” (Every Man’s Bible, page 1637)

This inspired me to do some more research on followership, as it’s related to leadership.  I started with a simple web search – “are good leaders good followers?”  I didn’t know if I’d find anything good – boy, was I surprised!  There were a lot of great things.  Three things stood out to me:

• A blog post by Michael Hyatt entitled “Why the Best Leaders are Great Followers – Five Hidden Attributes That Command Respect”
• An article published by Forbes: “To Be a Great Leader, Learn How to Be a Great Follower”
• A Harvard Business Review (HBR) Leadership Research article entitled “To Be a Good Leader, Start By Being a Good Follower”

I’ve mentioned Michael Hyatt a couple of times before, so you’re probably not surprised I liked his blog post!  In this post, Hyatt lists three characters in the Bible who started out as followers and became great leaders in their own right – Joshua, Elisha, and Peter.  Hyatt lists five characteristics of good followers.  These characteristics make great leaders (in my opinion):

1. They are clear.
2. They are obedient.
3. They are servants.
4. They are humble.
5. They are loyal.

Forbes and HBR are two popular business publications.  The author of the Forbes article (Bernhard Schroeder) shares his Four Rules of Following:

1. You’re not following, you’re a leader-in-training.
2. Put your team first.
3. Believe in yourself and your leader.
4. [It’s] what you follow, not who.

These are very good rules for following.  I think they also come in handy in training a leader.

I really enjoyed the HBR article.  I used to subscribe to the HBR, and looked forward to reading each edition.  A sentence in this article really stood out – “without followership, leadership is nothing.”  The authors reported on their analysis of emergent leadership among 218 male Royal Marine recruits who embarked on the elite training program after passing a series of tests of psychological aptitude and physical fitness.  They examined whether the capacity for recruits to be seen as displaying leadership by their peers was associated with their tendency to see themselves as natural leaders.  The results of their analysis were staggering.  Those who saw themselves as natural leaders were viewed as having leadership potential by their commanders.  But the recruits who saw themselves as followers ultimately emerged as leaders.

These three articles support the premise that to be a good leader, you must learn how to be a good follower.

I developed a reputation as a good follower.  For the most part, I am a conformist.  However, there were times in my leadership career when I was a poor follower.  Two times stand out to me.  One of my bosses, while delivering my performance feedback one year, said that he appreciated that we were mostly aligned in our approach to getting results.  He told me 95% of the time we were aligned, but that other 5% was quite ugly!  Ouch, that hurt.  I worked on being more diplomatic with him and ended up on a positive tone.

One of the lowest points of my career happened partially because I wasn’t a good follower.  I didn’t fully establish a positive relationship with one of my bosses.  I didn’t fully understand her expectation and missed many cues to her dissatisfaction with my performance.   This resulted in my removal from that position – the only time that happened to me.

I learned a couple of lessons about leadership and followership:

• Being a follower under a poor leader is tough.  When you believe leadership is heading in the wrong direction, express your concerns in a respectful, reasonable manner.  If your opinion isn’t accepted, follow anyway.  Don’t say “I told you so” if it doesn’t work out.
• Being a follower when you wanted to be the leader is also tough.  In my last job, I wanted to be promoted to the leadership of the group and never was.  I missed out on the promotion three times and ended up training my new boss two out of three of those times.  This was very humbling.

I strongly believe that good leaders can and should also be good followers, but not all good followers can be good leaders.

How good of a follower are you?  Do you struggle to follow when you don’t appreciate the leader’s vision or direction?  If you are a leader, I challenge you to read the three articles I’ve cited.  Develop your own opinion.  Let me know what you think.

I give up – I refuse to do another New Year’s resolution!  I don’t have any for 2022, and I don’t plan on ever doing one again.  It’s February, and I’ve just finished my first draft of my personal goals for the year.  None of the goals resembles a resolution.  You might be thinking – what gives?  Well, to offer a phrase that’s been overused since March of 2020, I’m following science.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had New Year’s resolutions many times in the past.  I like the start of a new year 1 it gives me the opportunity for a fresh start or clean slate.  I usually start the new year strong, with determination that I’d follow my resolution for the entire year.  I rarely do.  Turns out, I am not the only one.

I was a member at the Downtown Houston YMCA for a few years.  I enjoyed that facility.  It had all the equipment I needed, and was easy to access.  I joined mid-year once.  I found the gym not only accessible, but I could always use the equipment I wanted to.  It was great!  Unfortunately, this only lasted for a few months.  The first time I went to the YMCA after New Year, I was bummed out.  Not only did I have a hard time finding a parking place, but I couldn’t use my preferred equipment.  There were so many people there!

For a while, I grumbled about it and even considered quitting.  Being a procrastinator, I never got around to cancelling my membership.  After about six weeks, I noticed I could easily find a parking spot and equipment.  A lot of people started off the new year joining the YMCA, but gave up on their resolution after a while.

This year, I decided to do something different.  As I’ve stated in previous posts, I use the Full Focus Planner (FFP) by Michael Hyatt as my daily planner.  The FFP does an excellent job of integrating annual goals, calendar, task lists, and project management.  I’ve been using the FFP since its inception.

This year, I decided to read Michael Hyatt’s book “Your Best Year Ever” (YBYE) before I wrote up any goals.  This book is one of the best self-development books I’ve seen in many years.  Not only is it inspiring and great for helping write up your goals, but it is full of references to studies and research done in the field.

I started drafting my goals while reading the book.  Once I finished the book, I reviewed the draft goals to ensure they fit the formula for success.  I’ve now settled on these ten goals for the year, and have started working them in earnest.

What have I learned from taking a different path to annual goals:

• I need to devote more time at the end of the year to review my progress and plan my next year’s goals.  Michael Hyatt states, “when we obsess on what’s wrong, we miss what’s right.” (YBYE, page 59).  My favorite leadership author Dr. John C. Maxwell used to say that the old phrase “experience is the best teacher” was inaccurate.  He says “evaluated experience is the best teacher.”  I plan to follow the After-Action Review process at year-end.  This process, developed and utilized by the U. S. Army, includes four simple steps:
  • State what you wanted to happen.
  • Acknowledge what really happened.
  • Learn from the experience.
  • Adjust your behavior.
• As part of my annual review process, I plan to review the YBYE book while looking both back (at the current year’s goals) and forward (to the upcoming year’s goals).  This book is not only full of opinions backed by solid research on achievement and success, but it gives you very clear guidance on how to write goals that will maximize potential success.
• I will be judicious about sharing my goals only with people who either have a vested interest in me achieving them, or with people who can hold me accountable.  One of the studies mentioned in YBYE indicated that sharing your goals actually affects your brain the same way as achieving the goal.

I’d like to hear what you think:

• Do you regularly use New Year’s resolutions to change behavior or achieve goals?  What’s been your track record of success?
• What is your process to develop, monitor, track, and celebrate success?